Many of us do not know what we want from life. We are not fully aware of ourselves and our needs. We operate on convenient autopilot, not quite happy or fulfilled but too tired or apathetic to make any real changes.
Now imagine what it would be like to be in control of your life, to be the architect of your destiny. Think of how powerful and excited you would feel as you drew up a master plan and set about realising your dreams.
Izabela Fouere, a local motivational speaker and regression therapist, says there is nothing more exciting than planning your life. “It is like walking into a shop, ordering everything you like - knowing that you can afford it - but choosing only that which really serves you. You never ask for more than you need yet you know that you can have it all.
“There is no limit on your virtual credit card yet you never order anything to satisfy a shallow need. You know that you have nothing to prove. You have mastered the art of living in the present.”
We all need to awaken to the potential within us, she says. “It is time we stopped waiting for others to take care of us, to show us the way. We need to learn how to be in charge of our own fate thus becoming immune to the state of the economy and global markets. Imagine that each of us, ordinary human beings, becomes self-empowered. What a difference we could all make. What could happen if we all started to focus on the possibilities the current situation presents to us, rather than on the false limitations we choose to believe in?”
Creating a blueprint
So how do you set about transforming your life? Izabela recommends starting by asking yourself the following questions:- What makes me happy? What are my expectations from life? When was the last time I did something for myself which brought me meaning and joy? What are my talents and abilities that make me a unique person? Do I deserve what I have/who I am/where I am now or do I deserve better? What is my relationship with me?
Then set about creating a blueprint of the life you desire. “That vision should include all areas - relationships, family, finances, job, holidays, health, ideal weight, etc. The more precise you are about what you want, the easier it is to attract it, she maintains.
“Most of us make a mistake of using a general statement, such as ‘I just want to be happy’ or ‘I just want to be content in life’ never getting to the bottom of what makes us happy. We end up wanting to create a feeling of happiness or contentment but we do not know what needs to happen in order for us to actually feel it.”
Dream big dreams, she urges. “Most of us have issues with low self-esteem and we find it difficult to believe that we could have, be or simply deserve something better. We set our expectations low and that is exactly what we get back - very little. By reaching high, we tap directly into our potential.”
Be motivated, determined and fully committed to making your dreams come true. The level of commitment to your dreams is directly proportionate to that which you have towards yourself. Try not to allow obstacles to divert you from your path but be prepared for them, viewing them as a new opportunity for transformation.
Life has a purpose
Izabela says it is important to recognise and accept that your life has a purpose. “Unless a person has a sense of a purpose, a reason to wake up every day with the taste of excitement in their mouth, feeling that they are in charge of this amazing project called ‘life’, feeling empowered and fulfilled, their lives are filled with a void. And nothing and no one else can fill it.
“Your purpose is as unique as you are. Living without a sense of purpose is like aimlessly drifting on an abandoned ship through the vast oceans of this world. We go where the storms and currents take us but we are helpless in our own inability to actually get anywhere.
“Our dreams and desires are directing us to something far more important. This is the very reason why we set goals. Achieving them is of secondary importance compared to the changes that take place within us as a result. We become more self-aware and self-empowered. Feel, act and live as if your dreams have already come true, you then create the space within which miracles occur.”
What are the main transformations people seek? It could be achieving your desired body weight or releasing a past trauma, emotional imbalance or overcoming a paralysing fear, she says.
“In essence however, whether it is better relationships, finances, health, body image, better job or lifestyle, underneath it all, we all want the same thing - the feeling of fulfillment and happiness. Each aspect of our lives, which is out of balance, is a reflection of the part of us that needs to be brought back into harmony within us. It all starts and finishes with Me. The core of the transformation then is all about transforming the relationship we have with ourselves.”
The discovery process about who we are is often far more important than the actual discovery itself, she maintains. “It is this which shapes us into who we are. The discovery of our life purpose, the transformation, is merely a confirmation that we have been going in the right direction all this time.”
Be prepared for stumbling blocks along the way as you attempt to take charge of your life. Do not be tempted to slip into victim mode and waste valuable energy bemoaning the fact that others are thinner, richer, better looking.
“It is important to own your life. Assume full responsibility for it. Stop pointing fingers at others blaming them for your misfortunes. Such behaviour keeps you in the position of a victim where you feel hopeless and helpless. Act now.Your happiness needs to come from you, not from a change in your external circumstances.
“It is not the economic situation, our traumatic past, lack of money, mean parents or any other factor that shapes our life and our perception of it. We are the great creators.”
Identifying your comfort zones and dealing with these will help you on the route to self transformation. “Outside of our comfort zones lies the land of fears. For as long as we allow the fears to control us, the self-development, self-empowerment process cannot take place.
“Daydream, make lists of things you would like to achieve, see or have in life. Do not worry how they will come about, that’s not your problem. You just need to set the wheels into motion. The greater force will take care of the rest. Do not hesitate to ask for what you really want.
“Get to know yourself, your abilities and talents, your personal preferences, they all play a big role in your life purpose. Try new things, learn more about the world but most of all about yourself.”
She likens motivation to petrol, it keeps the engine running. “Without it there can be no progress, no development or sense of achievement. Hand in hand with motivation needs to go determination though. Sometimes the motivation itself might not be enough. A determined person will not allow an obstacle to divert them from their course.”
Izabela offers the following guidelines:-