Difficult relationships

In association with Empowering Resolutions

Are you ready to connect with your own authentic power and find stillness within? Are you Willing to communicate from your heart while navigating the complexity of human relationships? If you would like to bring peace into your life discover how empowering resolutions can help.

Last week, meeting with a friend left me with two Gems. We were having a conversation around the difficulties that we both have with a mutual acquaintance. After the usual analyses and expressed frustrations, she pronounced that there are only two types of people “Heaters” (people who make you feel good ) or “ Hoovers”( People who leave you feeling depleted ) simple as that. With this pronouncement, she closed the door on any further exploration. I laughed with her and admired her no-nonsense approach but the voice in my head said: “oh if only it were so simple”. As many of us know relationships are more nuanced and complex. Such a black and white approach can be like a roadblock to our own self-growth.

Having been on a journey of self-discovery for many years I understand now, that the divisiveness which can occur within friend circles, families, Communities or Organizations etc. is often the hidden effects of trauma on individuals and society.

I see that too often we are too hard on ourselves and others, judging and blaming. Understanding, that we are hard-wired for negativity sometimes allows me to be more tolerant and patient with myself and others.

We Humans like all species have self-protective mechanisms to help us survive. Our fight, flight or freeze survival response of the Reptilian Brain (FFF ) was designed to mobilize our brain and body to fight an enemy, run from danger or freeze to hide from a predator. Today, the human body has this same response to non-life-threatening stressors. When the amygdala, our brains watchdog senses danger, our bodies enter survival mode quicker than our rational mind can react. When the FFF alarm is sounded we start to breathe more quickly & shallow, causing hyperventilation and our heart starts to beat very fast. This is a way of getting us ready for action. We are left activated and confused. In the modern world depression, anxiety and high levels of stress all harm the brain's ability to slow or cancel false FFF activations causing them to happen more often.

Many of us have spent years coping with inappropriate stressful FFF responses. However, If we explore, feel and understand what’s being triggered in us we will be able to take back our power and become more fully alive and empowered in ourselves. Difficult people and difficult situations will then become like signposts for us on the path of self-awareness.

If you have difficult people or difficult situations in your life and you’d like some Conflict Coaching to empower yourself contact me at info@empoweringresolutions.ie or Cathobrien77@yahoo.com


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